Pregnancy Fears

It has finally hit me. At least a nasty cold has. At almost 36 weeks pregs I’m feeling down in the dumps and under the weather. Add this to a thrown out back, achy/cracked/sausage feet and my inability to keep urine in my bladder and I’m a real mess. The back issue has resolved itself but the latter two continue to plague me.

Thank goodness for the kindness of friends who’ve been here before me or I’d be in a pretty sad state of affairs when it comes to pregnancy clothes. Retailers get a clue! Carry maternity shit for Pete’s sake. (Motherhood Maternity you are exempt from this rant.) Seriously, we’re still people. In fact, we’re two people now – sometimes more. By that very fact perhaps you should carry MORE maternity clothes then you do regular clothes. You’d be a hit with us Pregs and you could take advantage of our unstable emotional state by offering fabulous deals we can’t say no to. After all, what pregnant lady doesn’t want two or three pairs of super comfy capris with matching spandex panel that wraps up and over her ever-growing belly until just below the boob line? Maternity wear is a necessary evil. Let’s just come to terms with it and we’ll all be happy.

While clothes shopping is bad enough, finding a decent pair of shoes is a freaking nightmare. Just last week I was at JCPenney browsing the racks of sandals in search of anything to replace my bejeweled Walmart flip-flops that have become a staple in my wardrobe. I passed up many a sandal until I saw a style that could, one, make my feet look halfway normal and two, make my feet look halfway normal. Sadly, feet of the Pregs are just not that attractive in the last months and I’m certainly am not bucking the system. Anyway, back to our story. . .I attempted to squeeze my foot into the sample size 7 to no avail. The width of my foot just wouldn’t allow it.

I gave the shoe to the salesman and asked for a size 9. I was NOT happy when he came back and said, “I’m sorry ma’me, all we have is a size 6.”

Really? Not only will my fat sausage feet NOT fit into a size 6, let alone a size 7 or 8, I was also a ma’me. Calgon, you failed me that day. Don’t let it happen again.

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Between the physical ailments and my clothing/accessory nightmares I’m also feeling emotionally drained. Anyone who knows me well will tell you I tend to worry about things a lot. And the fact that I’ll be meeting my first baby in just a few weeks has my worry gene in overdrive. Any of the following negative questions and statements will run through my brain at any moment throughout the day:

The house isn’t ready.
We don’t eat healthy enough.
How am I going to raise this baby when I’m so tired?
Why can’t Eric open cereal boxes the right way?
We have NO closet space. Shit.
I eat too much sugar and therefore am ruining my unborn child. (Fannie Mae is my BFF.)
How come I just can’t ‘be happy’?
Will labor and delivery kill me?
Will Eric be okay? (Worry, worry, worry.)
How will we afford this?
Will our lives be chaotic and crazy all the time or just sometimes?
Will I be a good mom if I go back to work full-time? (Will my son know me?)
Every ache and pain must mean I have some terrible disease.
We must have a schedule or the baby will be ruined.
We eat out way too much. (See point two.)
JCPenney and other retailers – you suck. (See rant above.)

I don’t know if I realize how many changes my body and mind has gone through over the past eight months. I mean really. Between hormone shots, relationship challenges and growing an actual human being it’s no wonder I’m a little on edge. I imagine many women feel like this during their pregnancy; some even have it worse. While I tend to downplay a lot of my feelings and concerns as if they are not important, today is not that day.

Thank you for letting me get this off my ever-expanding chest. If you have any advice for this mama to be – bring it on!

 

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One thought on “Pregnancy Fears

  1. Dearest Jenn,
    All of your complaints are normal; you are not a freak. Although carrying a baby is not the same as having a hip replacement, surprisingly, the complaints and challenges are surprisingly similar. May I suggest Target for late stage maternity wear? Their pants with the sought after tummy spandex were on display for the world to see. The tops were so cute–ruching works for every body type–I almost bought one myself a couple of days ago. For shoes, try a men’s flip-flop two sizes smaller than you regularly wear; they’re wider and will probably be more comfortable.
    This is your last month. You will have a healthy baby boy. Erich will finish the room and I’m offering my staging services to help you get everything together. You will have more help than you’ll know what to do with when the baby arrives so you can get some sleep, take a shower, eat a salad, or a box of Fannie May.
    Love,
    Barb

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