My Breast Feeding Nightmares

Clearly I need some down time. I mean the list of things I worry about is ridiculous. To top it off, I pulled my lower back out last night putting away laundry. I was proud of myself for actually putting it AWAY and this is what I get? And it couldn’t have come at a worse time. The agency I work for held its annual 5K Walk this morning and I had to be up at the crack of dawn to help set up. Fortunately Boo Husband came to the rescue and pitched in where needed; a back massage at 12 a.m. and sympathy groans on the hour as I made my way to the bathroom for pee breaks.

It’s hard enough peeing four times a night. Add excruciating back pain and a kicking baby to the mix and it’s downright cruel. Having survived the event we made it home to take fitful nap. Eric is now headed to Subway for sandwiches and I’m nursing this back until I can get to the chiropractor tomorrow.

Overall it’s been an interesting week. My doctor’s appointment on Wednesday revealed increased swelling of the feet and ankles which I’m to enjoy for the next eight weeks at varying levels of acuity as well as a five-pound weight gain. (My last appointment was two weeks prior.) I’m blaming it on the water retention along with Baby Djordjevic’s need to prove he’s above average.  It can’t possibly be the two pieces of key lime pie along with numerous helpings of random cookies and the like over the last two weeks. Please don’t judge me…I hit mile marker 39 and I’m preggers for the first time. Forty is going to rock!

I wonder if this back issue is my body’s way of side tracking my mind from things like breastfeeding nightmares in which my dog ‘stands in’ for the baby, thoughts about leaving my kid in a hot car to die, packing my bag for the hospital and being mired in debt for the rest of our lives. I’m pretty sure the first two are NEVER going to happen. I mean, if I start breastfeeding Louie then all hell will have broken loose and I should be committed to a place where I’ll never be let out.

The whole kid in the car thing has me freaked out. An article in the last issue of Parent magazine recapped two accounts of children dying after being left in a hot car for hours. The kicker? These were parents who loved their children. They were not deranged. Neither of them suffered from Munchausen by Proxy. They fully intended to pick up their beautiful children at the end of their workday. Except they forgot to drop them off at the caregiver in the first place. As incredibly sad as it was to read, I now know that anything can happen when we are distracted. I’m posting the link to the article “You’d Never Leave Your Child in the Car, Right?” because it’s that important.

For seasoned parents – what did you worry about that really didn’t matter in the long run?

For parents to be – what haunts you in the middle of the night, on weekends and generally every free moment you have time to think about how life will change when baby arrives?



2 thoughts on “My Breast Feeding Nightmares

  1. I visited a friend at the rehab center on Friday and another friend mentioned a woman from church whose baby was born with a full set of teeth. We chuckled and said she probably didn’t breastfeed that child! It’s all part of facing the biggest life event you have never experienced before. By the way, if I hear word that you’re breastfeeding Louie, I’ll be helping to care for Baby D until they release you from the ward.

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