Before realizing that we had a problem with getting pregnant I always thought it was interesting how people would ask me about when I was going to have a baby. “So, are you pregnant yet?” “Do you think you’ll have kids?” “Do you want kids?” “Are you really trying?” These irritating questions were usually met with annoyance. No. Yes we hope. Yes I think and is that really any of your business would have been the standard answers. But who were they anyway to judge and ponder our reproduction activities? For that reason I stopped going to church. Not a great excuse, I know, but one that influenced the decision.
The questions have slowed to a trickle and now we are left to ponder the future. Will we really be parents? The road of infertility can be a lonely one. I have been wrapped up in my own grief at times and at other times I have shared my feelings with others. It is with the sharing that I find comfort. Not everyone is able to do this and that’s understandable. Infertility is not something people necessarily want to talk about. People don’t want to get involved, don’t know what to say. But, I find, that when I open up, I realize that people DO want to talk. They have their own story to tell.
This has been the key to me staying sane through this process. Friends and family have stayed their distance but yet have offered a supportive hug or a personal story. It is the connection that makes me feel like I am not alone. I hope this blog will do that for people out there – that by expressing my fears and hopes and dreams they will find comfort.
A few days ago a friend sent me an e-mail with a link to a website that I thought might be a good resource. Shine was started by a woman who experienced her own journey with infertility. Her story is one that many of us can relate to. Check it out here at Shine Chicago – lots of great resources!