Too Many Cookies = A Fat Ass

You heard it right. My ass has gotten bigger. I’m serious. I can’t fit into the clothes that once looked half way decent on me. I find that I’m leaning towards “comfy” things like sweatpants and men’s t-shirts. (Okay, Eric’s t-shirts.)

I have no excuse for this. I’d rather place the blame on the people who bring treats into the office on a daily basis or the grocery store clerks who swear that “these are the best yogurt covered pretzels!” Yeah, duh – of course they are. I mean really who can stop at just one anyway?

I know as women we should love the bodies that we are in, but let’s face it, that takes a lot of emotional work. I’d rather indulge in a bit of self-loathing for a day or two, maybe eat some homemade cookies (Damn that Good Housekeeping recipe!) or eat a bowl of buttered noodles while watching the adorable Kelly Ripa on Kelly Show. I hope she hates herself. . .

Most people, in my personal opinion, love to have company when they are miserable. After all, who wants to be alone when you can drag someone else down with you? Now that’s the holiday spirit! In light of that then I will share with you the recipe that has created a molasses cookie loving monster that will stop at nothing to get a taste of this chewy, spicy goodness. I really have to thank the internet Gods that I found this recipe no less than 1,582 days after it was originally posted. What is that, like 2007 or something?

I omitted the vegetable fat (aka Crisco or “add a pound to each of my thighs please”) and swapped out Allspice for Nutmeg. What I found particularly interesting was the use of cayenne pepper. I hear it boosts the metabolism. Bonus!

I encourage you to make a couple batches of these so that you have them around when you are feeling sorry for yourself and for when guests come to visit. They are perfect for breakfast when you’re in a hurry and they should be shared with all co-workers who are trying to lose weight.


Old Fashioned Molasses Crinkles

Here's me getting ready to make the cookies. I ate some of the dough and then proceeded to eat about five cookies once they came out of the oven. Good times.


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